'stache #35 - sugar snap pea moustache

A moustache of the poor, the sugarsnappeastache long marked the perimeters of urban decline and false promises...until, of course, irony and cultural referents brought it back to life. The first recorded use of the sugar snap pea moustache was, not surprisingly, in Stephen Crane's Maggie, A Girl of the Streets, a notable work of fiction based on kinda true occurrences of the late 19th century Bowery street urchins. In the story, Maggie's little brother Tommie, at age 4, 'staches what little dinner the family has to look the ripe age of 12 so he can pay rent at the flophouse one night when father is drunk and beating the children. In an interview in 1895, Jacob Riis mentioned that the snap pea was popular among the "other half" but they refused to be photographed wearing such a poverty lip legume. The shame was understandable, and the reasons why the real 'stache will never get in the books are well studied. It was the 1890s. The frontier had just barely closed, the government gave Americans free land and free gold, and, in the cities, a great deal of wealth was expected. So it was until a young Joan Didion, working diligently at Vogue, 'stached a pea here or there, that the sugar snap pea moustache quickly found fame amongst the waify girls and boys of urban centers.

This is a summertime 'stache. It should be noted that Fats Domino was a huge fan of this moustache.

'stache #32 - green pepper moustache

A true Depression-era 'stache, the green pepper was the only moustache to emerge from the reign of the sloppy, gin-soaked lime moustache days of Prohibition. The green pepper -- thin, hungry, watered down, but crisp and robust -- was seen 'stached everywhere from the bread lines in New York City to the Deep South tenant cotton farmers. In the outtakes of James Agee and Walker Evans' heady tome, there are several Evans portraits of Floyd Burroughs donning the green pepper moustache with a middle finger raised. Agee's caption simply reads, "New Deal, my ass. Eat my 'stache, Frank."

The green pepper moustache should not be worn.

'stache #12 - hushpuppystache

With origins in 19th century debtor prisons, it’s little wonder that the hushpuppy moustache retains its unsavory connotations. While not all 21st century hushpuppy ‘stache wearers are scofflaws, most are, and one would be wise to hold tight to his wallet in presence of this fried and breaded lip.

The hushpuppy moustache may be worn in dark alleys and gypsy encampments year round.