'stache #26 - Fenway frank moustache

It was a hot day in June 1946 when slugger Ted Williams first 'stached the plump pork beauty of Fenway Park. A lone red seat high above right field now memorializes the spot, and Red Sox pilgrims journey from far and wide to honor the memory of that great day. Always en vogue among New England natives, the Fenway Frank ‘stache has enjoyed a resurgence of national popularity in recent years. Wearers of this meaty mouth trimming can be found amassed atop the Green Monster usually clad in some color combination of red, blue, and (occasionally) green. The list of notables who have sported this 'stache is impressive and too lengthy to detail in full—suffice it to say it includes Ted Williams, JFK, and Neil Diamond. Many politicians have been spotted with this John Hancock on their lip; indeed, it was while wearing the Fenway Frank ‘stache that FDR delivered his famous address promising never to send American servicemen into foreign wars. This failed campaign promise was often quoted by his critics after sushi-'stached sailors bombed Pearl Harbor and the U.S. entered the Second World War.

Wearers, be warned: sporting this ‘stache too often may result in a gastronomical malady commonly referred to as the Curse of the Bambino. The Fenway Frank moustache is never worn in winter months.