Considered the ‘stache that launched a thousand wagons, the westward migration of the American pioneers were driven largely by a desire to find new fertile lands with which to grow the corn which would feed the insatiable hunger for corn moustaches along the Eastern seaboard. Not surprisingly, both Illinois and Iowa are Native American terms that translate roughly to “a good place to grow corn for Eastern moustaches.” Although popular for nearly two centuries, the corn moustache was driven to near extinction by the Ethanol boom of the early 2000s.
Bah! Ethanol, shmethanol. Get out of the car, go for a walk, and wear the corn moustache primarily in summer months.
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